CNATI: Cincinnati OH Sports Journalism

This morning starts with a tragedy. Or a comedy. I am not sure which. All I know is Big Butter Jesus went up in wild, buttery flames last night in Monroe after a lightning strike. It always made me laugh but always made me think how much money was wasted on that thing instead of actually helping people. Let's hope the Solid Rock Church folk see this as a message that there are better ways to spend that money. Or they will just build a bigger, more aggressive, flame resistant one. And that will be cool, too.

High-5

1. Much ado about nothing (yet). Well, much like the NCAA tournament expansion, all the craziness turned out to be the media (Joe Schad) running what anonymous sources report to be "circles" around itself about relatively little. Nebraska and Colorado are gone, but with the Slightly Less Big 12 staying in tact, everyone can stop talking about Armaggedon.

For UC, this is all excellent news. They have done very well in the current situation and as long as the Big Ten doesn't eventually poach a few more BE schools, they are set. Though, as Eric Crawford points out while talking about expansion in regards to Louisville, it may be time to consider adding a few football schools in order to be less vulnerable. At the very least Villanova's championship program should be upgraded to BCS status.

Friend of the blog David Hale has an entertaining look at the winners and losers.

Big 12 basketball is among them thanks to addition by subtraction. Though, some bad blood remains.    

There is no bigger winner than Texas.

Where we are at now with the conference expansion situation reminds me of this Dive Bar crawl through Covington I took part in this winter. My friends and I decided to jump ahead of what had become a massive, rowdy crowd of people going from spot to spot. At the place we were going to next, a small band of about four guys (I assumed they were only playing because they lived in a back room of the bar, or possibly were just kitchen staffers with nothing to do) was playing. The bar was empty, well, besides the four of us and the band. Then, it happened. Like a Facebook flashmob, about 80 people flowed in, absorbed all the natural resources, wreaked havoc, requested songs and 20 minutes later bolted in unison.

My friends and I didn't move from our barstools the entire time, entranced by the people watching (why does everyone here look like Steve Horstmeyer?). Pandemonium.

As soon as everyone filed out of the bar, the four guys in the band were standing there, exhausted. The lead singer slowly leans into the microphone with a glazed look having fallen over his eyes and says: "What the hell just happened."

2. Katz on the Cats. CTR mentioned this yesterday, but I will add this today. Josh Katzowitz wrote his farewell column at gobearcats on Monday. He is beginning a well-deserved job covering the NFL for CBSsports.com. It's remarkable all Josh accomplished during his time in Cincinnati and the city is much better for it. Personally, it was pretty difficult for me joining the UC beat midseason last year. As in any new situation, you could feel everybody wondering who you were and no matter how many hands you shook, that would probably wouldn't change for a while. But Josh was always the guy who would help show the ropes and rep the J with me whenever possible. It was a huge help for the transition and I won't ever forget it. More than any of that, he's an even better guy. It's great to call him my friend, and hopefully before long I will call him my referee colleague when we take jobs as touring college hoops refs.

3. Steve Stripling. Gobearcats.com has a story about the UC defensive line coach. There will be an extra eye on him as he oversees the academic side of the team. UC was the best academic program of all those that finished in the top 10 last year, graduating 75 percent.

4. Haruki Nakamura. The former Bearcat is ahead of schedule from his ankle injury. Not a surprise to anybody that followed his career that he is overachieving.

5. Friday Night Lights. Just when I thought I couldn't be happier when hearing Riggins and Saracen were returning for the fifth season of FNL, this news broke with it. Tyra is coming back, too. And all was right with the world.     

Low-5

1. Bengals mini-camp. These practices are important for the coaching staff, but will any of us really learn anything from them? No. It will be nice to hear from The Ocho -- even it if is in espanol. And we will keep an eye on these 10 questions Joe Reedy points out need to be answered. But all of those answers will again become questions at the first day of training camp.

More appropriately, if nobody gets hurt or re-injured, it will be a success.

2. Scoop Jackson. I envision him and Skip Bayless sitting around talking about how the outcome of tonight's basketball game will prove that Earth is, in fact, flat.

No, Kobe's legacy is not hanging in the balance. His legacy is already cemented in his four titles including the one he captured just last season as the undeniable leader. Please stop trying to make every game into an episode of Days of our Lives.      

3. Big East basketball scheduling. Rivals has a story on how difficult it is to complete a schedule in the BE due to TV arrangements, teams playing in NBA/NHL arenas, 144 conference games, etc. It doesn't mean much to the school featured here like Pitt, but if you are UC basketball and you are having enough problems trying to sell tickets as is and you can't even do a marketing push for games over the summer, it sure makes life difficult.

4. Creepy kittens. All kittens are cute, unless they have two heads.

5. The world coming to an end. Yeah, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. Here's hoping NASA is filled with a bunch of idiots.   

High-5

1. More Big East chatter. Something I mentioned last Friday was followed up later in the day by Brian Bennett more in depth and really seems to make a lot of sense for the Big East. If -- and that remains a Texas-sized if -- the Big 12 were to fall apart, Kansas and Kansas State would make great additions to the Big East. And to a lesser extent Mizzou and Iowa State.

Here is Bennett's take where he addresses the top complaint about the distance factor in such an addition.

The Washington Examiner (does it really even matter who is reporting this anymore?) claims the Big East is interested in this. The folks at Iowa State sure are interested, for anyone who cares about their opinion..

While nobody seems to care much about basketball, that would assert the Big East as the pre-emminent hoops conference in the game. And those two have decent football programs as well.

Whether they would be added to the BE or to a reformed ACC-BE conglomerate depends on what book of Revelations in College Football you are reading these days, but regardless, grabbing those schools would place the Cats and the conference on very solid ground and add markets to the creation of a BE Network.

Plenty of this will sort itself out tomorrow when the Texas Regents talk it out. 

2. Zack Greinke. If all 162 games of the season were listed at season's end and given a brief recap after, Sunday's would be an easy read: Zack Greinke is really good.

The guy was next to unhittable the final seven innings of the game. Sometimes you run into that. Any disappointment over this series goes directly to Friday night when the Reds had no business losing, uncharacteristically leaving 11 runners on base.

Anyway, too bad Greinke couldn't figure out his timing issues one start later, as CTR talks about at CBS.

It's only one series, but it always feels like much worse when you lose to the Royals. And, actually, it could be, depending on what happens with Brandon Phillips' MRI today.

3. Kyle Cook. I like that intern coach Dermonti Dawson is working with Cook. Cook was maybe the most pleasant surprise of last season and with some assistance from one of the greats in the game could raise to the next level. 

4. Depth in the NBA. For a league that makes itself all about stars, it is the depth of the Celtics and lackthereof from the Lakers that is making the difference in this series.    

5. Hobbies. Some people need 'em.

Low-5

1. SEC needs. Mark Bradley claims the "SEC needs Oklahoma." The SEC doesn't "need" anything. Oklahoma would be the definition of a luxury item. The conference's football strength will not be diminished if they don't add any teams. That conference has perfected how to dominate the game and if the rest of the country formed one conference and the SEC stayed as is, it would STILL win more than 50 percent of the national titles.

2. Fred Smith. The FedEx CEO is throwing money at the Memphis Tigers' problem. Wanting more exposure for the program he already throws his money and naming rights behind, he is offering $10 mil to any BCS conference that takes them in.

Fred, you're rich, we get it. But in this case, $10 mil isn't going to be enough to change any minds that were already made up.

3. Vince Young. It must be tough being rich and young and asingle and staying away from strip clubs as many young athletes are advised to do. Young didn't listen. So, this video of him getting into a fight and charged goes viral.

It's why I recommend athletes build mini strip clubs for themselves and their buddies as extra wings on their mansions. Then they can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home. And they are creating jobs! It's good for the economy!  

4. Vuvuzelas. Can we please put these things to rest. What purpose are they serving besides annoyance? I don't know the joy of blowing a horn until I turn red, white or blue, but can only imagine they make watching the game difficult. Anyway, they may be banned. If there was some kind of online petition I could sign to make this happen I would take the day off today and wear out the refresh button.

5. Wendy's. In the defense of those that started a brawl at the Wendy's Drive-Thru when their order was incorrect, when you say no lettuce or onion, it is for a reason. Because your lettuce is obtrusive on the cheeseburger and onions taste rotten.  

Let's get right to the action....

High-5

1. UC expansion scenarios. For the first time in this whole thing, I think UC has reason to be excited about a possible expansion. Before, it was mostly fear of being left out. Now, it should be said, as often as the expansion game changes, nobody really knows what to expect and the script can get flipped on them overnight. However, the concept of either a Big East that loses maybe a Rutgers and Pitt or Syracuse, but adds Kansas and Kansas State would keep them very relevant. Or being part of a 16-team superconference that joins with the ACC would create a basketball powerhouse even stronger thant he Big East was. 

Brian Bennett's worry-o-meter peeks into some of those scenarios.

Gene Wojchechowski interviewed former SEC commish Roy Kramer, who delivered some insight. (Disclaimer: Andy Rooney Beano Cook has a "get off my lawn" video rant at the top of the page.)

As rumors go, this one is The Baconator. Though I don't know much about KCTV, I tend to give it very little credence.

Wherever Texas lands will end up being the big winner in all this expansion (with ND a close second), but moving to 16 teams isn't necessarily the ultimate money generator according to Darren Rovell.

But, you know, it's all about the development of the student-athlete.  

2. UC offense. Rivals ranks UC's triplets of Collaros, Binns and Pead as the 12th best in the country. Pitt is ahead of them at 11 and OSU lands in the top 10.

From my angle, when you add in Hazelton, Woods and Guidugli they move up to the top five six-packs. Throw in two returning starters from their offensive line and they may be the most potent octomom in the nation.

3. Nick Temple. Wasn't able to get to this yesterday, but UC landed one of the top 30 linebackers in the country, according to rivals. He could be a safety and is a bit short, but can absolutely play. Temple is out of Indy and will be a nice addition for Butch Jones.

Down the Drive seems to know a lot about Temple, I will have to take their word for it.

Rivals has this breakdown.

Tim Adams has this story. 

4. Dickie V. He got hit by a baseball at a Rays game. He was OK, but he left a dandy in his diaper. (ba-dum-cheee) I will be here all week, ladies and gentlemen. Tip your waitressess.

I immediately regret that decision.   

5. Steve Nash. He makes me believe Canada is actually worth having around.   

Low-5

1. Tradition. I understand the need to hold onto the past. I really do. But tradition is so three decades ago. All the old guys in the media beating the drum of how this realignment is "ruining tradition" need to look around. The game changes all the time. Look at the Big East and the ACC, they ruined tradition. And a new one was made and nobody seems to have much of a problem with that.

Penn State joined the Big Ten less than 20 years ago, now they are considered a major part of the conference's fabric.

This will likely be looked back upon as the year of college sports armaggedon, but new traditions will be built and we will learn to love those just the same. Game's change. Wild card. Interleague play. Instant replay. Realignment. And that was in MLB. They latch onto tradition like Gaylord Focker to a suitcase.

You may not like the changes that are going to occur in college sports, but don't talk about tradition like you expected things to always be the same.

2. Antonio Chatman and Chris Perry. They signed with the Sacramento Mountain Lions of the UFL. It's tough to see players you put so much stock in take such a brutal fall from grace. You can only wonder what might have been for Perry had the injuries not slowed him down.

3. Pete Carroll. For as much as we (I) hate on John Calipari for his past transgressions and questionable tactics in the gray area of college athletics. I would be remiss not to point out the shadiness of Pete Carroll leaving for the NFL obviously knowing what was going to happen to his program at USC.

It's dirty and unfair that Carroll can go unpunished, but now 30 fewer student-athletes can attend college.

4. Jim Calhoun. At a certain point, you deserve the benefit of the doubt and to be a little arrogant with your position. Calhoun earned it. But considering some of the allegations at hand involving Josh Nochimson, perhaps a little more contrition and a little less annoyance would be in order.

5. Bengals family section. A great idea, in theory. Let's hope the standard hooliganism that occurs doesn't overflow into it.

Probably not.     

Thanks for taking a break from reading endless scenarios of conference expansion talk to stop by the old H5L5. I have quite a bit on my plate today including finding someone locally who can make custom made headbands and sweatbands in bulk. That's right, I need a sweatband guy, I am not afraid to say it. If you know of anybody, feel free to pass it along.

Until then, here's the goods... 

High-5

1. Carson Palmer. The guy speaks the truth and cares about the future of the Cincinnati Bengals more than any player in that locker room. Hearing him say what everybody is thinking about Chad Ochocinco's offseason routine is pretty revealing. I mean, TWO "it is what it is" in one interview? That's not good.

The truth is, Chad has always wandered off during the offseason, but this year he has gone further into his own world than ever before. This shows there is some concern from Carson that Ocho will be able to come all the way back.  

2. Butch Jones. Down the Drive took a look at Jones' recruiting techniques and sees a guy shooting for higher quality than either of his two predecessors. Whether that is a winning strategy or not remains to be seen.

UC has put itself in the national conversation over the past few years, but is their perception in the living rooms of high school kids as an elite program yet? Maybe not of USC, Florida or Texas, but one or two rungs down, it appears they can contend. If they start landing some of these top 100 or 200 players, then everyone will truly appreciate the fresh philosophy. If not, then it may be time for a change in direction. But finding out where you stand in the minds of these top players is a great exercise in self-evaluation of the program.

Of course, they do have some of the top former recruits, even though they came to UC in a circuitous route, referring to Vidal Hazelton, who Brian Bennett ranks as the No. 20 player in the Big East.  

3. Zach Mettenberger. He is headed to Butler Community College, as reported by former UGA player Kelin Johnson on his web site.

Not a bad move for Mettenberger and it is also reported the Bearcats are leaving their offer on the table. This allows Mettenberger to get a year playing against top competition -- Butler is one of the top JUCO's in the country -- instead of only getting a year of practice time with a new program. He just redshirted with Georgia, so another year "learning through practice" was probably not something he was interested in.

I still say this would be a great find for UC should he committ. He will have as good of physical tools as any QB on the roster and be great to watch competition with him, Patrick Coyne and Munchie Legeaux come 2012.

4. Bino Ranson. The XU assistant is moving on to Maryland.

Here's the quote from Chris Mack:

"I want to thank Bino for his efforts over the past year," said Mack. "I can certainly relate to the fondness he has for his hometown school in Maryland. He did an excellent job for Xavier and we wish him nothing but the best." 

Mack is working on filling the position as we speak. Congrats to Bino.

5. Aaron Rodgers. I am not going to hate on an athlete attacking ESPN. It's nice to see a little rage against the machine. Even if I don't agree with him. I only wish I could properly put jokes into the Ron Jaworski voice via text.   

Low-5

1. Notre Dame. The Irish continue to find themselves in an interesting position. The New York Times takes an in-depth look at the questions facing AD Jack Swarbrick and the Irish.

If you are at Notre Dame, you understand football will always be No. 1 so much to the point there probably isn't a No. 2 or 3. But it is pretty disrespectful to all the other sports that Swarbrick could be putting all of their affiliations in jeopardy just so ND can remain independent in football.

That is probably why ND is reportedly talking to the Big Ten once again. And this all could be put in motion if Nebraska is a member of the Big Ten by Friday as the Omaha World-Herald reports.  

As for UC, Brian Bennett briefly touches on the concept of the Bearcats benefitting from 16-team superleagues in his mailbag.

2.Scheduling. Phil Steele ranks the toughest schedules and has UC at 59 and OSU at 61. I am sure this will warrant some type of t-shirt smack talk.

3. Reds bullpen. I won't continue to go into a long discussion about what to do with the Reds bullpen. Let's just say they belong in the Low-5 and move on for today.

4. Athlete songs. I talked about team songs here yesterday. Sports Pickle finds the top seven worst athlete songs of all-time. A fantastic list that includes Shaquille O'Neal genius lyrics (Look up Shaq in the dictionary/I guarantee you'll find a picture of me, brother)

But, guess who showed up at No. 4? Cincinnati's own Bronson Arroyo. (Together again!)

This time for his Fuel cover from before he was a Redleg.

On that note, catch Bronson crank out some tunes this Sunday at GABP!

5. PDiddy. Seriously, is he everywhere? The way he jumps into this clip of Big Baby Davis makes me think he has found the secret to cloning and is following around every camera and reality show producer in the country waiting to steal the spotlight. 

As for Davis going to see Obama in the White House, well, maybe he needs Obama to show up in Boston and deliver some reassuring eye contact.    

High-5

1. Yasmani Grandal. We don't know much, but the more we are learning, this was a great pick by the Reds. Grandal can rake and is having one of the best offensive seasons in Miami history. Plus, picking a guy out of college has him in the bigs sooner rather than later, a nugget of interest to a fan base that knows this team is built to win very soon.

Lance McAlister did a great job collecting info on him. He dug up this and this and this and this and this and this and this. Or you can just go to his site here and scroll through them.

2. Deveroes League. If you like basketball and need a summer fix, there are few better summer leagues than this one. The schedule is out with times and dates of games. No list of who will be playing yet, but it usually reads like a whose who of local hoops, including some NBAers and the top local college players.

I, of course, am saddened that former team sponsor Chicken on the Run isn't a part of the league anymore because they are right around the corner from my house and I was hoping to get a free beer out of pushing them on the blog.

3. Adam Jones and Mike Zimmer. If Jones can find some motivation, we have all seen the type of player he can be on the field. The fact he appears to be responding well to Zimmer in the early going is a very good sign.

4. College baseball. I want to see the video of this play-by-play announcer over the course of this call. Gus Johnson thinks he needs to lay off the 5-hour energy.

5. CTR. Big congrats to the best beard in baseball. CBS couldn't be getting a better hire. Like he said yesterday, some changes are coming around here, but we aren't going anywhere. We all worked too hard to create what we believe to be an incredible product -- and for me personally -- something I have always wanted this city to have since I was writing for the Moeller HS Crusader in the 90s. 

We believe in it and will continue to bring you the best stories nobody else is telling from the teams you care about.

Oh, and I'll talk too much about the Jersey Shore. You got to take the good with the bad.  

Low-5

1. Aroldis Chapman. Tough night last night against Louisville. He throws 72 pitches and only 33 strikes. Six walks. A pretty big step back for a guy that was getting closer. He was probably just intimidated by the presence of Pawtucket broadcaster and friend of the blog Dan Hoard. Sure, Chapman has played in front of scouts from every MLB team in the world, but never in front of someone with a Simpsons character named after them. That is heavy stuff.

2. Pac-10. EDSBS says the Pac-10 ate college football. This map details the new plans for world domination. What has happened in expansion -- and with most things in life -- can be summed up in a Seinfeld episode. Basically the Big Ten thought it was in control while playing a game of Risk on the subway with the Big XII and Big East. Then with one false step, an outsider stepped in and sent the entire game into chaos.

("College football is game to you! How about I take your little board and smash!")

Dick Vitale thinks it's all a bunch of hypocrisy, baby! It's crazy! (Every DV sentence must be followed by an exclamation point)

Josh Burns at The Examiner sees a superconference model placing UC in the ACC along with a slew of Big Easters. It isn't completely unlikely and a nice fit for the Bearcats should it happen.

3. Tom Izzo to Cleveland. Was talking with CTR about this yesterday. Not sure why anyone would leave college hoops to go to the NBA -- outside of ego and money. You can't beat the job security and there is so much other garbage associated with the league. The personalities and money are out of control. As apposed to a position where your word stands, is rarely questioned and the best players flock to you because of who you are.

However, John Niyo of the Detroit News thinks Izzo must go, you know, if LeBron goes with him.

4. World Cup. International soccer has so many wierd traditions. Tops among them is the incessent use of those damn horns during games. Following in a creepy second are these World Cup murals. I am not anti-mural by any stretch, but these just leave me feeling awkward.   

5. Charles Oakley. What won't Oak say? Pretty sure Charles is legally insane. For that reason, I would love to see him on the the set of NBA on TNT with Chuck, Kenny, Ernie and Webber next year. 

Happy to be back on the blog. A long weekend away taught me a few things: I still suck at golf, trudging through mud in flip-flops inevitably ends badly and I hate being out of the sports loop.

Some people love going off the grid for a few days or longer. I do as well, but not to the point where I don't pay attention all the news that goes on in over the course of a week. I don't think I will ever be that person sitting in a cabin in the mountains with no TV, Internet  and without my phone calling it a perfect weekend. Sounds awful, actually.

So, I stayed among the thousands of people at The Memorial who smuggled in cell phones and they certainly came in handy for keeping up with all the was going on.   

I did my best to catch up on the rest of the last five days on Sunday night and will try not to be too outdated with the H5L5.

High-5

1. Dan Wetzel. We talk a lot about expansion here, and rightfully so during a long, boring offseason, but nobody has put a brighter, more informative spotlight on the situation as Wetzel. Here, he calls out Dan Beebe, BCS and nearly everyone in college football for being bamboozled by Jim Delany.

More importantly, he illustrates how the ACC, Big East and SEC can come together to stop this Pac-10/Big Ten expansion power trip. The fact it involves the rapid installation of a playoff system makes it all the better from my angle. Great piece, a must read.

Along those same lines, is putting ultimatums on Mizzou and Nebraska really the right direction here? Pressuring and forcing the hands of these programs sure doesn't seem like the best way to endear yourself to them. But at this point what does any of it really matter? This is turning into a bad breakup. You are about done caring about the other person's feelings, you just want to get on with your life.

Either way, the NYT details all you need to know. Moral of the story: buckle up, it's all happening.  

2. Bengals. Who loves power rankings? Ok, not many of you. But here's one anyway. Cincinnati at No. 6 with Baltimore at No. 2. That will be one heck of a home opener on Sept. 19 at PBS.

A breakout game of what Chick Ludwig predicts to be a breakout season would be nice from MIchael Johnson that day.

3. Elsinore beer. UC basketball will be taking a trip to Canada for some exhibitions. It's a great move because of all the extra practices the Bearcats can get in. But even better when you consider all the UC students that can go to Canada, drink legally and hopefully find some Elsinore -- without a mouse in it, of course.

4. Xavier's new scoreboard. After all the scoreboard issues at X last season, putting a new one in is a welcome addition for fans, players, coaches and definitely all the whining media who work on deadline. Myself included.

Chris Mack may be sad for a minute as he watches the old one go down, but that will immediately be replaced by a sigh of relief that he shouldn't have to hear anymore scoreboard criticism (let's hope). .  .

5. Rickie Fowler. The guy is great for golf. Does he look like a push-pop on the golf course? Yes. But bringing some life to a tournament that needed some kick as Phil and Tiger never made the necessary run into contention made the weekend exciting for everyone. This young contingent of talent is setting up nicely for the post-Tiger generation. How close we are to that is another story and one every major sports outlet in America has written at least five times before.

Low-5

1. Team songs. We should all have learned from Freakbass. Making these songs are not necessarily a great idea.

However, the photos and coinciding line "Proud Dusty keep on grinnin" makes me smile as well. If the Reds continue to win, this will need some serious upgrade to get to what I call "Hand-clap status" 

2. MLB Draft. I wish there were a way to make this more exciting. Drafts as a whole can be so much fun,but when you have little to no interest in any of the teams the players are being chosen from, it becomes tough. When the majority of those players not named Mike Leake won't make much of an impact for a a couple of years, it is almost pointless.

As Peter Gammons points out, Bryce Harper is the story of this draft.

The story of the draft two years ago, Buster Posey, is in town tonight, fresh off his recent call-up. He's 13 for 30 for a .433 average since arriving from triple A.    

3. The Stanley Cup Playoffs. The Stanley Cup is going on? Right now? Seriously?

I know ratings are up, but I have to put that mostly on two major cities being locked in. Outside of Philly and Chicago, does anybody really care?

Hockey as a sport has really dug itself quite a mess.

4. Death of beer? Judging by what I saw this weekend at The Memorial, beer is alive and well. Anyway, here is a story from The Atlantic. 

Funny sidenote: While standing near No. 15 tee on Saturday, DJ Trahan and Geoff Ogilvy were about to hit their drives. One man fitting the d-bag stereotype -- beer, cigar, sunglasses, flush face, carrying voice, well-trimmed goatee -- was in a conversation for all on the course to hear as Ogilvy tried to hit. Since the players rarely say anything, the caddies stepped in with a standard, "Quite please, around the tee box,' fully directed at our boy. Only, it didn't take. As he blurts another unimportant fact out during his conversation as Ogilvy is about to hit, Trahan jumps in and delivers the line of the tournament: "Hey, drunk guy, shut up!"

5. The Spelling  Bee. I am late on this, but can't help but give love to the most unintentionally funny event of the year. Of course, this is intentionally funny.     

Well, since CTR took a vacation last week, I am going to follow his lead this week. Considering I already spend too much time reliving my college years on the weekends here in town, I am opting for the relaxing golf vacation with my father.

We will be heading to Columbus and enjoying The Memorial and following whatever group Tiger Woods is not in. Playing four different courses in four days in the mornings then heading to Muirfield Village in the afternoon sure sounds like a decent way to spend a long weekend.

Anyway, since I will engulfed in golf (sorry) this will be the last H5L5 of the week, but fear not 10-15 people who read this blog daily that aren't related to me -- a big day tomorrow. The final installment of the college basketball series will be posted along with the full transcripts of the interviews with Chris Mack and Mick Cronin. I thought Cronin's interview in particular was very revealing and I just couldn't put all of it into the stories. If you care at all about either team, should be an interesting reprieve from whatever spreadsheet you were pretending to work on.

But, that's enough self-promotion, let's get down to buisness.

High-5

1. Shayne Graham. Looks like he is going to sign with Baltimore. If you don't think one of the Bengals-Ravens games this year is coming down to a Graham kick in the final seconds you are crazy. This is why there are such things as football Gods.

2. Aroldis Chapman. I defer to CTR on the Reds insider knowledge, but from this seat it seems like Chapman's call-up can't be too far off. Pitching coach in Louisville Ted Power says he has a long way to go, but it's clear he is getting there. He went seven innings in 88 pitches last night. Once Homer comes back and the team figures out what they are getting from Sam LeCure, it would seem like Chapman could definitely help this team, particularly with a bullpen cracking more and more every time Arthur Rhodes doesn't step on the hill.

Here's an account from the Columbus Dispatch of last night's game. 

And another nice piece from Matt Brown of MLB.com.   

3. Corie Blount. I'm definitely late on this, but Bill Koch had a great feature this weekend in The Enquirer that deserved mentioning. Corie Blount's off-the-field transgressions are pretty absurd -- 29 pounds of pot for a birthday party? -- but Bill does a great job giving the whole story. I root for Corie. The guy made some mistakes, I just hope everything he says is genuine and holds true over time.

4. The Big Lead. One of the best sports blogs in the business was bought out for "low seven figures." Wow. While people may wonder why we toil here at CNati (and many other young sites with big ideas) for little instant gratification. Stories like that one keep you going to know that people will pay for quality. While we are not the same genre or principle as TBL, it is a strong product and relentless work ethic being rewarded. That's something I can get behind.

5. The SEC. I sure had a blast covering it when I was in Georgia. There is nothing like the insanity of every media gathering. Whether it is the jort-sporting Gator media or beauty of every conversation with Steve Spurrier, it never fails to entertain.

The surprisingly sober David Hale has some fantastic sights and sounds from the meetings going on in Destin, Fla., this week.    

Low-5

1. UC football. Not necessarily a good thing to have resignations so soon into the Butch Jones era. Though, any of the reasoning behind the move would surely be speculation, the aftermath isn't great as position coaches are moved around having to switch players they work with after spring practice. Not a huge deal, but a small hit for CBJ.

Down the Drive sums it up nicely with its headline and has some nice thoughts on it, as well.

Though, the move to tight ends coach for Mark Elder shouldn't be a difficult one, as Brian Bennett explains in placing UC at the top of his TE position rankings in the BE.

2. Calipari haters. I wouldn't classify myself as a hater, rather a loather. The dirt and questionable nature with which Cal operates in the gray area of college basketball bothers me. I think he is a great coach, a heck of a recruiter and probably the best salesman in college basketball.

His methods obviously rubbed off on his protege, Josh Pastner, at Memphis, who even recruits in the delivery room. (Lane Kiffin is looking into the same method, but in a different capacity.) 

Mike DeCourcy addresses the Cal haters here and defends the UK coach. He makes excellent points, the amount of misinformation surrounding him is incredible, but the vacated wins that followed in his wake at his previous stops are undeniable.

3. Fantasy football players watching film. I love fantasy football as much as the next. Probably more. But the idea that I am going to be watching film of prospective pickups like I'm Ron Jaworski is a little over the top. I understand the concept of the application, but don't seeing it having any real effect on the industry.

4. St. Bonaventure. You thought playing the Bonnies was an easy win for Xavier last year.  

5. The alma mater. Proud to see OU football really has arrived. They are climbing the Fulmer Cup standings. Even prouder to see poor decision-making continues to be the order of the day on Mill St. in Athens. Somewhere pictures are floating around that suggest I contributed to that tradition. And also suggest I could never run for public office.     

I have been at odds with The Karate Kid remake to this point. I am a huge Will Smith fan and want to root for his son, but picking the movie that in no way should be touched -- rather held in a time capsule for eternity -- is frustrating to say the least.

I was completely against it until it made this happen. Pretty much the entire cast of Karate Kid, the original, back together and mocking themselves in this long music video by No More Kings called "Sweep the Leg." It is genius and it took my Memorial Day to a new level. I hope it helps you get through your first day back to work. Enjoy.

High-5

1. Chad Ochocinco. Some people have/had problems with Chad Ochocinco in the past. I was among those. But ever since the disruptive offseason of two years ago, the guy has made every right move. Say what you will about DWTS or filming reality shows instead of going to OTAs, moments like this are what make Chad who he is today. (Chad also tweeted afterward he was going to bring Ruben to a game) 

This may have been great publicity, but it seems pretty genuine to me. And when he invites entire groups of fans to the movies or dinner, it goes largely unnoticed by cameras, but he doesn't stop doing it anyway.

The guy has re-invented how players market themselves in the NFL and showing his personality in the process. Tough not to like him.    

2. Tony Pike. Here is a converstation with Tony from Panthers camp. I like his chances to at last make the team as the No. 3 QB. The little bit of time I did have to talk to him, I liked him and thought he was extremely mature for his age. Hopefully he will surprise some people just like he did at UC, hard not to root for him.

3. Herb Pope. Seton Hall will be the sleeper of the Big East next season and it looks like Herb Pope will be a big reason for that. Reportedly, his heart stopped during a workout in April, but he is said to be on to a full recovery now. Looks like there will be a press conference about exactly what happened coming soon.

4. US Soccer. They beat Turkey 2-1 in front of a large crowd in Philly. The first game of their World Cup is against England on Saturday June 12. I mentioned last week about remembering their run in the Cup, but misremembered it as 2006 when it was 2002. In my defense, when I was at OU, most of what happened is a blur. I blame Palmerfest.

I definitely think I will be remembering this Cup for a while, as the Sporting Blog folks reiterate, this is probably the best chance entering the tournament the US has ever had.   

5. Seinfeld. Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of the first episode of Seinfeld. Of course, we already know Jerry's take on birthdays. "Inevitably, irrevecobly, 'Happy birthday,' no such thing."  

Low-5

1. Lance Stephenson and the Bearcats. Draft Xpress has this interview with Lance from the NBA combine in Chicago. Far and away what stands out to me is Stephenson talking about how he lost 16 pounds because he never knew he had to eat right before he started training for the draft in Las Vegas. "I used to eat McDonalds, chicken wings and french fries, stuff like that."

For the sake of the Bearcats' staff and Yancy Gates' body, let's hope that's not true.   

2. John Calipari. Rick Bozich takes an overview of John Calipari's latest mess. Kentucky fan has no base to complain here. They knew what they were getting themselves into when they sold their soul to the Calipari a year ago. I am surprised it took only a year for the (alleged) infractions to occur.

Dana O'Neil details how these infractions could affect UK.

The Dagger looks into four key developments in the case.  

3. Bengals attendance talk. Cincy Jungle discusses the possibility of another season of sell-out issues. At this point, after seeing the lack of enthusiasm for a home playoff game, I don't know how you could expect anything but WKRC and co., having to buy out thousands of tickets again.

4. Celtics-Lakers. Kobe Bryant called the series, "sexy." Maybe, but I think The Onion has it right. I may take a count for how many times the phrase "Larry and Magic" is uttered.

The series should be great, but because these two teams are great. Listening to the sportscasters make it about so many players in the past is going to be exhausting and, in reality, disrespectful to the great players on these teams. Even Sasha Vujacic.  

5. Adam Jones. No, not Pacman. The Orioles' Adam Jones was stopped at the border in Canada, seemingly because the Mountie-folk thought he was the Bengals cornerback.

I envision Baltimore's Jones screaming obscenities every time Pacman's name popped up in another strip club incident.

Of course, as we all learned in Office Space, owning the same name as someone can be a debilitating cross to bare. Especially if he is a no-talent ass clown.    

Big Memorial Day weekend Friday planned, I am sure many of you are planning your early escape as we speak. I always treat it just like trying to sneak into a lower section at a game, just walk with purpose and act like you belong and nobody will question you.

On to the H5L5...

High-5

1. Buckeyes on the brink. Despite the mostly fictional, still-not-a-rivalry rivalry between OSU and UC, there is such a huge base of Buckeye folks here, I didn't want to pass up this blog from Matt Hinton.

It's a pretty solid look at the team and points out what you all already know if you care about this team, Terrelle Pryor better figure it out. Hinton feels like he will and also feels like the pieces seem to have fallen into place more for OSU than any of the early-season top contenders for the title.

2. UC iPhone app. I haven't used it because my Palm Pre only has apps that are completely useless. But, seems like a good one. The $4.99 price might be a little steep (especially when you can rock the CNati.com app for .99 cents!), but might be worth it as the season rolls around.

3. Cincinnati Rollergirls. The hottest event in town is back on Saturday as the Rollergirls are hosting Minnesota. This is a big game for Black Sheep, I know when I did the story on them a few weeks back Hannah OuchoCinco said she was going to play partially against doctor's orders from her injury because she wasn't missing this game.

Should be another big crowd at The Gardens, 7 p.m., Saturday night. Oh, by the way, $1 Happy Hour beers.

4. Ron Artest. I give him respect for making a remarkable play at the buzzer, but mark my words, his lack of basketball intelligence at key moments is going end up costing the Lakers at some point. Maybe not in this series, but at some point. 

But his entertainment value alone, is almost worth it. He made Craig Sager say "Queensbridge." It was probably fitting considering how hard Sager was pounding Artest for taking poor shots. He wouldn't let him off the hook.

For those of you who don't know it is the largest housing project in NY, where Artest is from. I assume some of Sager's suits spent some time there, but doubt Sager could tell you much else. Of course, Sports Pickle put the exchange in hilarious context.

For me, I root for Steve Nash because the guy is a trip. He recently did an interview on Space Ghost for all my adult cartoon nerds out there. Which allows me to link to this old favorite song from Space Ghoster Brak. Don't Touch Me!  

5. Omaha Royals. They are hosting Jersey Shore Night tonight. Get in free with  JS haircut or get a free ticket to another game with a tanning bed receipt or bottle of hair gel.

No word on replacing all claps with fist pumps.

BTW, new season begins in July.      

Low-5

1. Economic effect on college football. Ivan Maisel takes a deep look into a topic few want to bring up and that is the economic failures in the Rust Belt affecting college football in the Midwest. It's a great read -- and extra kudos for mentioning my alma mater, even though it would probably be considered the fourth-best program in Cincinnati right now.  

2. Early UC disrespect. OK, first off, these magazine rankings mean less than the preseason AP rankings, which mean very little. But, I have to say I am a bit surprised to see UC football at No. 43 in the Athlon preseason poll and No. 41 in the Sporting News. Finishing 4th and 5th in the Big East in each.

Guess I didn't realize there was such a negative national perception after the BK, Florida combo punch.

UC did come from outside the Top 25 to within a second of the national title game last year, so nothing to be concerned about, but with all the weapons coming back on offense from an undefeated team you would think the Cats would have at least been within shouting distance of the Top 25.

3. Big East goes HD. I guess I am just trying to figure out why, in a world where 85 pecent of people in Morrow probably have HDTV (completely made up fact) the Big East didn't have HD for its replays prior to this.

Regardless, they do now.  

4. Kelvin Sampson. The Cavs really have no idea what to do right now, do they? Lindsey Lohan wearing her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet to the clubs thinks hiring Sampson would be a terrible idea.  

5. Sack tapping. It's all fun and games until...well.   

High-5

1. Reds. Great night for the team on the field and better night for the fans in the stands. Bark in the Park is just a fun night to be at GABP. Between all the dog-themed songs, barks, parades and shots of everyone else's dogs on the scoreboard, you can't ask for much more. Except maybe a butt-sniffing zone somewhere on the plaza level. (For the dogs, not the humans)

Here are some photos from Better off Red.

2. Bengals mix of youth/veterans. Marc Hardin at BengalsInsider asks if the Bengals may be too young to win. I don't buy it. You look at nearly every major position and there is a veteran leader there to guide young talent. And the everyone on this team minus the rookies, has playoff experience. That is invaluble.

A nearly every position group there is a solid veteran in place. Carson Palmer, Chad Ochocinco, Bobbie Williams, Reggie Kelly, Dhani Jones, Chris Crocker, Antwan Odom, among others. The Bengals had the youngest team by year experience in the league last season, but that doesn't mean much when that young team has been through the battles. .

3. UC Football. Brian Bennett ranked the Big East teams in the most trouble during Week 1 of the season. UC is at No. 4 with its game at Fresno State. I think that is about right, but if you factor in how large the ramifications of a loss would be, I think UC moves up to No. 2 right behind Pittsburgh.  

4. Patrick Patterson. The UK hoops star found a tape recorder sitting in front of him in Chicago this week unaccounted for. So, the obvious move was to bust a freestyle rap. Not exactly Jay-Z. Actually, not exactly Juvenile, either. But any impromptu freestyles get love here.

5. World Cup. I have a hard time gauging the interest in soccer around here. Personally, I always get excited for the World Cup. I remember watching the last one through the early hours of the morning as the US made its most meaningful run in history.

Do you care about the World Cup? Will you set aside time to watch every match? Will you do so while sipping a Capri Sun?  

Anyway, the rosters came out yesteraday. Here is a look at the US team. It includes some gambles.  

Linda Robertson at the Miami Herald points out that the pressure of expectations has risen for the Americans.

This country loves the underdogs because we so often are not on the world stage. For me, that is the best part of the World Cup. Nobody thinks we can do it -- and maybe we can't -- but it sure is fun to watch us try.

BONUS FIST BUMP. Cubs fans. The Bleacher Bums fight for your respect every day. Most days they lose, on this day they win by doing what they do best: drinking.      

Low-5

1. NCAA. I had a main story for the site today, the third in the four-part series on the issues confronting the offseason of college basketball, and this one of probably the most controversial. It was one I didn't really expect to write about going in, but what every coach I talked to brought up almost without being asked.

The bottom line of what they are saying is true, the NCAA is so scared of the AAU underworld (and rightfully so) they are trying to stop it at the expense of their own coaches. Instead of trying to attack the real problem of working with the classy AAU programs to try and eliminate the dirty, money-driven ones from the circuit, the NCAA just lazily tries to keep coaches from getting to know players and coaches.

Sure, coaches can visit high schools all they want, but they have to do it during the season. It's incredibly unfair to ask a coach to avert his focus from the team in his own gym to go running off to watch some 11th grader. Actually, as Chris Mack would, it is "ludicrous."

It's not just with recruiting, Jason Whitlock points out here in reference to the Kansas ticket-scalping scandal that the NCAA breeds a culture of corruption.

Along those lines, here is another quote from Mack that was in the story:

"It is unfortunate, but the NCAA puts in more and more rules every year that we have to follow," Mack said. "The crazy thing is when you don't follow those rules or when you cheat, it is more advantageous to have more rules in place. It really hurts the people that are trying to do it the right way."  

2. Lance Stephenson. This inside take from the Chicago NBA draft camp says Lance Stephenson really hurt his stock this week with his answers to questions, demeanor and apparently taking offense to certain questions about his background.

We probably shouldn't be surprised. What was the No. 1 concern with Lance when he left? He's raw and a little immature. Let's not act shocked when he acts that way. But he certainly isn't doing himself any favors. A guy that is already hanging out in the second round needs to be extra careful of saying or doing anything that could drop him out of it completely.

3. Mid-majors. SI's Andy Glockner has some good insight and talks about UD's Chris Wright and the host of returning players in the A-10. But the insistence on referencing the BCS in basketball and calling Xavier, Butler and Gonzaga mid-major is as off-base as it is annoying.

4. NFL OT. Not sure I understand the NFL's decision not to include the regular season in the new playoff rules. Why wait until the most important games of the year to implement a new system? Clark Judge agrees.

5. Wrestling a student. Probably a bad idea if you are a teacher. Probably a REALLY bad idea if the student is a D-I football recruit and body slams you moments before you get fired. Oh...and the embrarrassing video of your fro shaking as you hit the ground goes viral. That's not gonna be good for anybody.